Vasectomy

Vasectomy

 

I know vasectomy is an often discussed and, usually, cringe-inducing, topic. Too many men think the days after a vasectomy feel like this:

Image result for squirrel hanging from balls

So let us here at Midtown Urology try to shed some light on this oft-misunderstood topic. What is a vasectomy? Does it work? Is it permanent? Is it reversible? How much does it hurt?

 

The vasectomy is a procedure to induce sterilization in men, and you should consider it permanent. There are a lot of worries for every man considering a vasectomy, but rest assured:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In our opinion, none of those worries should compare with the fear you should feel of a fate like this:

Image result for i was planned i was not me neither

A vasectomy will remove a small segment of the vas deferens on either side. The vas is the tube that carries sperm from the testicles up to the seminal vesicles, through the prostate, out the penis, and into your old gym sock. Greater than 90% of semen is contributed by the prostate, so, it’s mostly unchanged after a vasectomy. At Midtown Urology, we further cauterize (fancy medical word for burn) and then apply titanium clips to the remaining ends. With these techniques, the risk of failure is extremely low.

Image result for Vasectomy visualized for simple men

You’re going to be sore for a while after a vasectomy. We recommend you take at least three days to relax on the couch. Watch the Netflix while you ice your junk. There are other perks! You won’t be in the clear to stop using contraception until you’ve ejaculated more than 30 times. Depending on how quickly you achieve this goal, anywhere from 2-4 months later, you’ll need to leave two semen samples that we check to be sure they’re clear. You may not attempt to "obtain" your samples in our office. This is frowned upon.

Alan Hangover - Message Seen: It's not illegal.. It's frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane

So, what’s not to love? Doctor ordered ejaculations? A weekend of rest and relaxation? Leaving your specimen in a cup? All good stuff. You’ll have pain meds and a few days of antibiotic to go home with. The procedure takes about 20 minutes. You’ll arrive in our office after taking a mild sedative. An injection of numbing medicine is usually the worst part, after that, you enjoy the valium while we chat about sports, jobs, whatever you want. We’ll handle the rest.

 

After the procedure, you are not clear to stop using contraception until you’ve met all the above criteria. I repeated that for a reason. Most of the "oops" babies post-vasectomy are born from the sperm still stored in your testes. We can’t get that out for you, sorry guys. There is a tiny chance of long-term failure; I usually quote 1 in 1,000. But with our enhanced techniques, the odds are in your favor.

 

There are a couple of options if you change your mind. There is a procedure to reverse vasectomies that is sometimes effective, but not 100%. We can also extract sperm directly from your testicles. This seems an appropriate punishment since I told you that you’re supposed to consider this permanent, but you changed your mind anyway. We can also talk about sperm banking prior to the procedure if you want to hedge your bets a little.

Vasectomy Party – Chips, Dips, and Snips

Misery loves company right? Why not make a party out of the day? We specialize in the Vasectomy Party. Come to our office, hang out with your bros, watch SportsCenter with chips and salsa…and make sure you’re not the next Antonio Cromartie (https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/brosectomy-vasectomy-popular-trend)

We welcome your questions below and will do our best to respond quickly.

 

This Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

 

Author
Midtown Urology

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